You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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