haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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