none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
