you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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