rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
