I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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