Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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