Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize