Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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