He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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