don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
