he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
