you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
