I would go down on you faster than GM stock
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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