And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
