i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
