I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
