so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
