I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
It's official drugs can't kill me
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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