Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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