I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
