The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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