hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
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I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
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Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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