Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
