don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
