Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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