I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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