I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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