She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Randomize