I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
