There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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