just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
