there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
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