I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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