gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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