he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
