I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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