I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
