wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
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