Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
