I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
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