Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
