Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
