Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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