just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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