it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize