FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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