In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
