so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
