also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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