By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
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