Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I came so hard my ears popped.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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