He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
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