ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
