you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
