go do what you do best...puke behind churches
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
This couple is walking their pig around campus
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
