Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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