We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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