no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
